Letting Them Know You're Interested: Body Language and the First Date

When it comes to sex and getting it, subtlety is the name of the game. And body language is all about subtlety. So when you're out on that first date with that guy or girl you've been dreaming about for awhile, keep in mind what your body is saying about your intentions. More importantly, watch out for sexual signals from your date.

The eyes are important windows into our thoughts. One of the very first ways babies learn about the world is to stare at things they are interested in. Well, we're all grown up now but we haven't lost this habit. Intense staring at a person or object is a way of saying "I want it!"

This can be a powerful tool in communicating with your date. When one of you stops speaking, instead of looking away, keep that gaze there just a little longer. I know you want to drop the stare, but don't! She or he will know exactly what you mean, and will keep the eye contact if her/his thoughts are along the same lines.

Next in line are the hands. These can serve as tools of communication as well as contact. If a person's hands are knotted in fists or clutching tightly at something, then they are nervous. Using the hands as a prop for the head shows boredom or tiredness (or drunkenness). Many people are fidgeters, playing with objects or their clothing. If you want to project a calm exterior, keep your nervous hands out of sight. Or keep your hands confined to your body; the constant playing with clothes or hair will attract and arouse their attention.

You probably didn't think of speech as body language, but much can be conveyed in the manner of speaking along with the words. Match their volume of voice; this shows you think of the two of you as equals. Note how they are speaking. Does their voice make them appear dominant or timid?

Erotic thoughts can often be seen in the way we touch our bodies. We do this when we're getting excited for a few reasons: First, we become more aware of our bodies when there is a sexual stimulant nearby. All of a sudden, our arms, waist, legs, feel more conspicuous and more real. (This is helped by the amount of blood that is suddenly rushing through the body.) Second, this draws the attention of the other person to our bodies. Note the way your date touches him or herself, and where.

It's obvious that the mouth is a very erotic part of the body. This is the main point of communication, but also one of sensuality and pleasure. The amount of nerves in the brain devoted to lip senses is large, similar to the resources devoted to sexual organs. Touching your lips with your hands, food, drinks, or other objects will let your date know what's on your mind.

Next, pay attention to the hair. Women especially tend to fiddle with their hair when there is something exciting them. Pay attention to her motions. Does she hide her hair from you, or does she preen it? This can be an indication from guys as well, who preen themselves just as much as women do!

Speaking of preening, note the way your date smooths his or her clothing, plays with the hair, or rubs the face. This is happening because of the increased sexual excitement, and because they want to look good for you.

A not so subtle way to convey sexual interest is to check out your date's body. Guys, this does not mean to stare at her tits instead of her face when she is talking! But the occasional glance downward, with a smile, will let her know you notice and like what you see. Girls, guys are just as sensitive to attention to their bodies! Don't hesitate to check out that butt when he gets up or sits down, and let him know it!

If your date starts distractedly undoing buttons or taking off outer layers of clothing, then you know where this evening is headed. Whether they realize it or not, they are starting to strip for you, albeit in small ways. This is a good point to let them know that you are checking them out and like what you see.

Pay attention to how they treat objects on the table, like the wineglass or straw. Repeatedly touching these objects with fingers, lips, or tongue is a greatly suggestive sign. Women especially use objects like glasses as sexual symbols, wrapping their hands around it or stroking it suggestively.

A good test to see if they are getting as excited as you is to try a little touching. Make it casual; put a hand on their arm when they say something particularly funny, brush their hand when you reach over the table, or, if you're really sure of yourself, briefly rest your hand on their leg. Their reaction will let you know if you're headed in the right direction. If they like the contact, they'll smile and return the touch soon. If they don't like the contact, they will withdraw from you a little.

Always keep a lookout for indications that they are ready for a kiss. This includes a lot of mouth touching as discussed earlier and putting their face within easy reach of yours. Start this gently, with a delicate or light brush. They'll let you know whether this is desired or not. If they withdraw, then do the same and save further kissing for later. Don't act uncomfortable; it may be they just weren't ready yet. If you meet little resistance in your kiss, then you know you're in!

If this article took your interest and you would like to become an expert at getting a guy when you want to or simply enough knowledge to find, attract and keep the right guy, you'll do well by downloading this free report on How to get a guy to like you... it's top of the market right now if you want guidelines and advice on getting a man.