3 Ways to Leave Your Lover
Do a quick internet search and you will probably find thousands of articles on how to attract a boyfriend. But what happens when all of that has worked, and now you find yourself with someone you’re not sure you want to be with? Instead of dropping him like a hot potato, or letting it drag on and on because you don’t know how to handle it, listen to a few quick tips on how to end it without too much pain on either side.
That being said, this isn’t going to be easy, and you can’t pretend it will be. Men have pride, and your boyfriend isn’t going to want to hear this news. What’s more, the feeling is always worse for the one getting the boot than for the one giving it.
The first thing to keep in mind is, what is your boyfriend’s personality like? This will help you decide which tactic to take in the breakup to cause the least amount of drama possible.
Is your boyfriend extremely prideful and full of ego?
This type knows he’s hot, and uses it. He’s used to having all eyes on him and can attract the interest of most women. Quite often, this trait is paired with charm, creating a powerful combination that can be tough to leave. But in some cases this proud guy can get way too caught up in himself and turn into a princess type instead of a prince charming. His image, his looks, and his hair are all he cares about. He takes a lot of maintenance, both from you and from his stylist. He can’t pass by a store window without checking himself out.
So how to deal with Prince Way-Too-Charming?
The best way to dump him is plainly, quickly, and with no frills. Tell him the truth: you don’t have much in common, you’re sick of having to take care of him all the time, and YOU would prefer to be the princess in the relationship. This will do both of you quite a bit of good. Not only will you be getting rid of some frustration that has probably been building up for some time, but he will get his pride taken down a notch or two!
That example might have been too easy, because nobody’s going to feel too bad about dumping Mr. Superficiality. But what if your boyfriend is a really nice guy, who cares about you and goes to great pains to make sure you know it? He takes good care of you, wants to spend all his time with you, and is willing to do anything you want. It’s easy to see why this might get old. You want a boyfriend, not a housepet. You want to be with somebody who is independent, speaks his mind, and more importantly, has a mind of his own!
But getting out of this one is tough; this guy has been so nice to you that you don’t really want to hurt his feelings. You feel like this will really be cashing in some karma, and will feel like dirt afterwards. You’ve tried to break up with him three times before, but could never bring yourself to do it!
So when you go through with it, do it gently
Let him come out of it with some pride. Quote lack of chemistry, or find some quality of your life and situation that just won’t let you be with someone (especially him) right now. But make it believable, or he won’t go for it. Give him something he can hold onto, and he just might stick around as a great old pal.
The third type you might be dealing with is the insecure type
This guy has two faces. At first, he was really romantic and you seemed to share everything in common. You two spent so much time staring into each other’s eyes that you forgot about the world around you. Then one day you woke up and noticed that everything around you was gone. You didn’t seem to have any other friends and ALL your time was spent with him. This unsettling realization may have been paired with the knowledge that he wasn’t treating you as nicely as he used to. Maybe he makes disparaging comments about you, acts coldly, or just seems all-around jealous when you talk about anything that doesn’t involve him.
What to do now?
You’ve gotten so dependent on each other that extricating yourself from the situation will be tricky. He talks a good talk, and you two have gotten so close that you’ll believe a lot of what he says. So go into this one with your guard up. Pay no attention whatsoever to his claims that you two are soulmates, and that you’ll never find someone else who treats you as well as he does. Be prepared for some major antics. There could be tears, tantrums, or threats. Treat him with some care, and don’t be belligerent. Instead, be calm, focused, and confident in what you are doing. Let him throw a fit, but let the bullets bounce right off. If he sees his ammunition is going up against a stone wall, he’ll know it’s no use and will back off. But if he senses uncertainty, he’ll only redouble his efforts.
If none of these tactics work, you could always use something more drastic, like telling your guy that you’ve found something else. This makes it final, but it’s sure to inspire resentment. If you want to preserve some sort of friendship between you two, then stick with something more sure and subtle.
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