How to Get A Guy To Commit
“Is your boyfriend dragging his feet? Are you looking for more out of the relationship? Do you want a ring? A house? Children? Those three words? How do you get a guy to commit without him running away? Coco Swan has compiled a simple check list to help you get the ring.”
Firstly you have to figure out what kind of guy your boyfriend is. Why is he not committing? There can be a few reasons for this:
This guy is perfectly happy where he is. He has no inclination or motivation to say, do, or spend anything. He would be happy to stay as you are for ever. This guy will not move his butt off the couch (literally), until motivated to do so. The thought of losing you may, or may not, do it for him.
Much as the guy above, this guy is happy with how things are now. It has not occurred to him that you want more. He considers the fact that he is still there as a statement on its own. This guy is more of the understated type. He doesn’t need the big wedding and expensive ring to show the world how much he is committed to you.
This guy will probably make a statement or commitment if he felt it would make you happy or if the need arose. For example, he may be the type of guy who would only really think about a bigger commitment if children were being discussed.
This guy may well make more of a commitment if you explain to him how unhappy you are with the status quo. He is probably keen for you to be happy and assumes that you are.
This guy is frightened of taking the next step. Maybe he is hopeless making big decisions. Maybe he has had a relationship turn really nasty in the past. Perhaps he is still recovering from a painful divorce.
This guy needs time to realize that you are not planning on hurting him. He may need lots of time or a little time. This guy may well turn and run if you present him with an ultimatum.
This situation really depends on how long you are prepared to wait.
Focused on something else
Sorry to tell you this, but you are not this guy’s number one priority. He has other things in his life more important then you and this relationship. He may well be focusing on his career, making his first million, or extra education. He ain’t planning on marrying you any time soon. How long do you have?
Still working on his career
This guy has a life plan for his career all thought out. Until he gets to where he wants to go, he will not be marrying you or anyone else. Many career guys go through a stage where their careers are everything until they become established, or are high enough up the corporate ladder. In the meantime you are his support system and diversion.
He will not contemplate marriage to you until he feels that he is firmly established and ready to settle down. If you hang in there, he may well reward your patience with a big rock.
It is best in this situation to listen to his goals so you have some idea how many more years he has to put in to reach his goal. It may not be as many as you think, or it could be more. You will be able to figure out from this conversation what his long term plans are for you. He may well assume that you realize that the bells will be ringing when he gets to where he is going.
This guy has no intention of committing to you. He is there until he finds someone better. He is using you for sex, meals, entertainment, company whatever. This guy may well protest that he is waiting for the right time, but it never will be. Give this guy an ultimatum and he will only stick around as long as it suits him.
Some guys need more time, some more courage. Some guys need a little encouragement, and some a little hint. Some need a prod, and others a shove. Some guys will happily commit when they see how happy it would make you. Some guys will commit reluctantly, and some guys will leave.
Explain how you feel, or alternatively, ask him about his plans for his future. If he doesn’t mention you, call him on it.
Is he worth waiting for? How long have you been waiting already? How much more time do you have?
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